December 2011
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awkwardly in an elevator with 8 strangers
strangers:
me:
strangers:
me:
strangers:
me: i bet you're wondering why i've gathered you all here today, hello
My favourite lame retail joke.
marxisforbros:
People working at Supermarkets have name-tags. But there’s also a big screen at every check-out that shows what they’re scanning with the prices, and on the bottom of this screen it says “Hi, my name is *their name*”. The first time I saw this I said; “Is it weird that the computer has the same name as you?”
They didn’t even get it but I laughed for the rest of the month.
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charlieick:
people these days are forming mental imprisonment. They believe they are in Jail for something stupid and that all their inmates and guards treat them like shit and take away their pride and dignity. Hence why society often feels isolated and won’t say how they feel and embrace their unique shapes.
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Despite my semi-hungover state, my obvious sleep deprivation, and my general seediness all day, my father commented earlier on my recent calmness.
It’s just really fucking relieving to realise I can - in fact - be the same calm, collected, down-to-Earth girl I had been in the first few years of my adolescence. In saying that, I have no doubt it’s due to my medication, but I was in a...
“You are not your bra size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the...”
– Unknown (via cityyandcolour)
Come to Plastic, guys. I'll buy you a singular...
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My mum wanted to open her presents at midnight on...
My mother: You're the fucking Grinch.
My mother's huband: You're a fucking idiot for thinking you're German.
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I ate a whole fucking sandwich today, guys. Like, the whole thing. There was a lettuce, and ham, and bread. The whole fucking thing. Update: I haven’t been able to eat for the last three days.
“I interviewed a woman who is terminally ill. ‘So,’ I tried to delicately ask,...”
– Unknown (via thefreenomad)
Things Luke sends to my phone when I lose it at...
Hi Elly - So I was just talking to your Dad (the renegade police chief who plays by his own rules, you know the one) and he was saying something about hunting down and ruthlessly torturing anyone who wrongs him or his family. Anyway I hope your mafia crime family friends and connections are doing well. Love, Luke (the expert hacker and mobile phone triangulation expert.)
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